For families wrestling with the challenges of childhood cancer, it is especially important that their network — friends, other family members, and community organizations — comes around them to rally not just verbal support, but tangible, meaningful care.
Cancer at any age can be a terrifying and isolating experience. The response by the community makes all the difference in the world! It’s understandable to feel helpless when we want to lend a hand. We don’t always know where to start. Even though your efforts may seem small or inadequate, know this: they do a world of good for the wellbeing of the families you care for.
Maybe you don’t know how best to help or the parents themselves don’t know what they need. Every family is going to have different needs and preferences for the help they receive, but don’t allow anything to stand between you and supporting families facing childhood cancer. Here are some meaningful ways to help!
If you ever doubt that your efforts make a difference, know this: studies show that families facing cancer are less depressed, stressed, and develop better coping strategies when they have support from their friends, family, and community.
Oftentimes, there is a wealth of support for families in the immediate wake of a cancer diagnosis. So many people forget, however, that cancer is a challenge for the long-haul. Treatment can take months, if not years. While that immediate support and outpouring of love is so valuable, it’s even more crucial to be there throughout the journey.
Send letters, offer a call, or send an encouraging text. Let the family know you are thinking of them. Over time, a family can feel forgotten as that rush of support dwindles. Make a regular habit of checking in on the parents, asking not just how you can help but offering specific support, and offer long-term aid through the other suggestions on this list.
Don’t offer platitudes or glib advice — instead, be a listening ear seeking to support and understand the family in the ways that they need most.
A cancer diagnosis disrupts just about every facet of life. Unfortunately, the rest of life and its responsibilities don’t fade. You can help a family feel less frazzled, taken care of, and at peace when you shoulder some of the daily and weekly responsibilities that they may now struggle to make room for.
Offer to mow the lawn. Hire a cleaning service for their home. Do the grocery shopping. Help take other children to their activities. Prepare meals. Offer to do laundry. While some of these efforts seem small — even inconsequential — they can allow the family to feel more “normal” and able to focus on their child.
While a family facing a child’s cancer diagnosis may not immediately want visitors or social outings, they are, in time, very important to the health of the family. In the era of COVID-19 it’s a bit more challenging to organize a playdate or a cookout — particularly when considering the immunocompromised — but there are still avenues for socialization.
Not only do the parents need social connections, but so does the child with cancer. Help organize parents and the child’s friends. Host a Zoom party or a game night. Helping the parents and the child feel included in fun activities can help them feel less isolated and more like a normal family.
For the parents of a child with cancer, bearing the burden of constantly relaying information to friends and family can take its toll. Answering questions all the time, over and over again, repeating the same news can even be traumatic, particularly when we’re talking about cancer.
If you are close enough with the family, offer to be a messenger for them. Obviously, you will want to clarify how they want questions answered and who they want to be included in updates. When you take up the role of liaison, however, you allow the parents to only have to tell one person news — you — which you can then relay for them.
Treatments, medication, hospital stays, meals out, and travel are all costly. As part of the family’s support network, you can do something as simple as giving a gift card. This is an especially good idea if you live far away and are unable to help in more “hands-on” ways.
A preloaded VISA can help cover meals at the hospital cafeteria. Treat them to a night out at a nice restaurant. Offer to pitch in for gas money. While not every family will want to accept monetary help, it never hurts to offer and it never hurts to give a gift card, from the essentials at Wal-Mart to the little luxury of a Starbucks coffee.
You could even gift them little luxuries like a subscription to a streaming service, like Spotify or Hulu. While these things are small, they can help ease the burden.
When it comes to childhood cancer, feeling seen, loved, and supported by a community — by a team — is imperative. Together, we can offer much-needed comfort and connectivity during these trying times, making life that much brighter for these brave kids and their families!