A child’s cancer journey is a life-altering and challenging experience for everyone involved. Primary caregivers especially – usually the child’s parents or guardians – are in a vulnerable position. Though the patient is the most affected, we know through new studies that primary caregivers are significantly impacted too: financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
In fact, research shows that half of all primary caregivers for children with cancer experience mild depression. Nearly 80% of research participants had symptoms from mild to severe, with only 20.30% experiencing minimal depressive symptoms. Considering cancer treatment is typically a long-term process, it comes as no real surprise that parents and guardians struggle, too.
As a result, it’s recommended that both caregivers and patients are screened for depression.
But it also helps to know the signs yourself so that you can get the help and support you need! Our children need us to be in good health mentally and physically to best support them on their cancer journey.
If you find yourself feeling exhausted and unable to think clearly regardless of how much rest you get, you may be depressed. This fatigue is physical as much as it is mental and may make completing work and daily tasks difficult.
Both excessive sleep and insomnia are common symptoms of depression. Sleep is often seen as an escape from negative feelings and difficult circumstances – not to mention a counterbalance for increasing fatigue. Racing or intrusive thoughts caused by depression can lead to insomnia, which then can exacerbate anxiety and fatigue.
Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand. Anxiety comes with obsessive worry, feelings of impending doom, sleeplessness, difficulty concentrating, and fatigue. Anxiety can be its own mental health issue that needs to be addressed.
Both a loss of appetite (decrease in food intake) and emotional or comfort eating (increase in food intake) can indicate depression. Be mindful if you notice yourself eating more or less than usual without other explanations.
Depression can make you feel like there’s no way out. It will tell you that things will always be this bad and difficult. In depression, these feelings can be overwhelming and powerful, making it hard to see the reality of the situation: things won’t always be this way.
Irritability can indicate depression, particularly in men. You may find yourself irritated by or overreacting to small problems and annoyances in your day. Take note if you feel you’re having disproportionately intense responses to disappointments or frustrations.
Depression steals joy. This can cause you to find little interest in activities you once loved. Hobbies won’t appeal, there will be nothing worth watching on TV, and you may “zone out” during activities.
Emotions that seem to change on a dime – going from highs to lows in a short span of time – may indicate depression. You may feel emotions more strongly or feel numb and listless. Either way, dramatic changes in emotional states are something to watch for.
While suicidal ideation can be a desire to die, it doesn’t always manifest as thoughts of ending one’s life. Suicidal ideation can be:
Suicidal ideation isn’t a desire for death necessarily, but a permanent relief from present circumstances. These feelings are very serious and should not be ignored, even if you believe you would never act on those feelings.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 800-273-8255 – toll-free and available 24/7.
If you are a caregiver for a child with cancer and find yourself experiencing symptoms of depression, know this: you are not a failure and there is help and hope. Depression impacts a significant portion of adults, and you are an adult in particularly draining circumstances. While you want to do everything to help your child, your child needs you to take care of yourself so that you can be the best support and advocate possible.