To say that a cancer diagnosis for a child is stressful is a gross understatement. For parents, it can be one of the scariest experiences you’ll face. Feelings of anxiety and stress, and being angry, overwhelmed, and exhausted are common. You are not alone!
Whether you’re amid a new diagnosis or have been seeking treatment for some time, caring for your mental and emotional health is beneficial not just for you, but for your child. Your stress and anxiety aren’t likely to go away entirely — however, you can help keep these feelings reasonable and under control so that they don’t take over your life.
4 Ways to Manage Stress & Anxiety from Childhood Cancer
Accept help.
For some parents, accepting help from the community — especially from strangers — can be uncomfortable. Recognize that your friends, family, and community members want to help you. Don’t try to shoulder the burden of battling cancer and managing a “normal” home life all on your own. Accept the gift of meals, favors, and practical help. When you allow others to take care of other priorities in your life, you will be more able to focus on your child and their care.
Not only does accepting help in its various forms lift some of the burdens from your shoulders, but it can allow you to feel more connected socially and emotionally to others. This is so beneficial to your mental and emotional health during crises!
Don’t be afraid to tell people who offer their help what you need — whether it’s transportation for other children, work around your home, meals, or something in-between. The old adage says that “no man is an island” — and it’s especially true for your family now. Allow others to support and love your family in meaningful ways, whether it’s practical help or words of comfort and support.
Be emotionally open.
Everyone grieves and processes emotions differently. A cancer diagnosis can strain your relationships, particularly with your partner. This is because grief and stress are dealt with differently by each person. Some people retreat while others reach out. Many of us do not process our emotions at all. Even if your relationship with your spouse is as strong as ever, reaching out and being open with the people closest to you can help you find a sense of understanding and support.
Fight against the urge to shut down and retreat emotionally from your loved ones. Being vulnerable and open is no doubt challenging, but this openness is rewarded with social support. Take the time to connect with your spouse, other children, and family members. You don’t have to share everything that you’re going through and thinking, but being honest with yourself and your loved ones is an important step in managing your emotions and stress.
Connect with others.
Beyond family, human connections are so important when a child is battling cancer. For parents, it’s incredibly important to connect with others who know what you’re experiencing — people who have been through it, people who are going through it alongside you. Remember: you don’t have to do this alone.
There are many different support groups out there for you to join. Even if you do not meet in person, online message boards and digital groups can offer a sense of solidarity among parents. You’re in a unique position and not everyone will be able to understand what you’re feeling and going through. Being able to vent your feelings and emotions, support others, and find advice from those who have been there before can help you feel less anxious and more connected to others.
Talk to a professional.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking out professional help from a therapist. The stress, anxiety, even depression brought on from a cancer diagnosis is not something you have to battle alone. Talking to a counselor can be a huge benefit — either alone or with your spouse. Not only can professional therapists help you process and cope with your feelings, but they can give you strategies to keep your relationships strong alongside your mental health.
Beyond therapists, seek out your child’s physicians. Get your questions answered. You will no doubt be working with the same team of doctors and nurses for a while. So take every opportunity to grow your trust in them. Ask questions. Be honest when you don’t understand or feel confident in care strategies. You may feel lost and entirely out of your element, but consulting with a professional can give you clarity and understanding...which then gives you a greater sense of peace.
Bonus: Practice self-care
While much of the support mentioned already depends on forming and maintaining close bonds with the people in our lives, self-care is also key in managing cancer-related stress and anxiety. You may not feel as though you can take time for yourself. However, caring for yourself is not selfish. Allow yourself to prioritize your mental and physical health. Go for a walk outside or find room for an exercise routine. Allow yourself small escapes, like bubble baths, books, and having fun. When you do this, the whole family — your child with cancer included — benefits