"How can I help?"
The question comes from everywhere—friends, family, neighbors, coworkers. And almost reflexively, you hear yourself say it: "We're fine, really. We've got it covered."
You say it even though you’re exhausted. Even when you can't remember the last time you slept through the night. Even when you're juggling hospital appointments, medication schedules, worried siblings, and a life that looks nothing like it did a few months ago. A life that refused to slow down.
"We're fine."
It's such an automatic response that you might not even realize you're doing it. But for many of us, accepting help is easier said than done. But please, hear this: saying yes to help isn't a weakness. It's a practice that takes time to learn, and it gets easier each time you try.
Many parents tell us they struggle with accepting help because:
These feelings are completely normal. You’re used to having it all handled, and now you're facing one of the hardest challenges a family can experience. It only makes sense that accepting help feels uncomfortable at first.
When someone offers to help, they genuinely want to. They're not making empty gestures or hoping you'll say no. (And if they are, they shouldn’t offer!)
Think about it this way: if a friend's child was sick, wouldn't you want to do something meaningful? That's exactly how the people in your life feel right now. By accepting their help, you're actually giving them something valuable—a way to contribute when they might otherwise feel helpless.
If you're new to accepting help, start with small steps:
Try the easy asks first. Let someone pick up groceries when they're already at the store. Accept that meal delivery. Say yes when a neighbor offers to mow your lawn. These practical tasks make a real difference and help you practice saying "yes, thank you" without the weight of a bigger request.
Let people use their strengths. The teacher who offers to tutor your healthy children at home? She's sharing what she's good at. The friend who wants to organize a meal train? He's playing to his organizational skills. When you let people help in ways that come naturally to them, it feels less like a burden and more like teamwork.
Note: You don't need to accept help from everyone in the same way. It's okay to have boundaries about who does what and when.
If you're not sure how to respond when someone offers help, try these approaches:
The more specific you can be, the easier it is for people to help effectively. And the more effectively they can help, the more supported you'll feel.
The people who show up for your family during treatment often become your closest support system. They're not helping out of obligation; they're standing with you because they care.
In the Cancer Kickers community, we see this truth every day. When families wear their teammate jerseys, they're reminded that accepting support isn't weakness—it's recognizing that none of us were meant to face hard things alone.
Remember, accepting help is a practice, not a skill you either have or don't have. Some days you'll feel comfortable saying yes. Other days, you'll still want to handle everything yourself. Both responses are okay.
What matters is that you keep trying. Each time you accept help, you're teaching yourself that needing support doesn't diminish your strength as a parent. You're showing your children that communities are built on people caring for each other. And you're giving others the gift of being part of your team when it really counts.