The call comes, and the doctor says the word everyone has been waiting for: remission.

And somewhere in the flood of relief, exhaustion, and disbelief, unexpected feelings show up too. They don't quite fit the moment, they’re harder to name, and you feel…guilty that it’s not all pure joy.

But if you've been there, you already know. Good news in the world of childhood cancer is rarely simple. And if you're someone who loves a family walking through it, knowing what to say (and what not to say) matters more than you might realize.

First: Start the Conversation Early (and Keep It Going)

Why "Congratulations!" Can Feel Complicated

For families who've spent months, even years, in survival mode, good news doesn't automatically flip a switch. The body and mind that have been braced for hard things don't instantly relax with a turn for the better.

Parents may feel relief and terror at the same time. Children may feel confused about why the celebrations around them don't match what's happening inside them.

There's also fear that lingers beneath the good news, things nobody wants to say out loud.

What if the cancer comes back?

For many families, a remission announcement or a clear scan is less like a celebration and more like a new kind of waiting. If you’re in that position now, whether you’re a parent, a caregiver, or part of the patient’s support network, there’s nothing wrong with you.

For Families Receiving Good News

Whatever you're feeling right now, you don't have to perform happiness you don't fully feel yet. There isn't a right reaction to good news, because every family's experience is different. What your child has gone through is unique, and so are the ways your family approaches news—both good and bad.

Still, it can be hard to overcome that nagging sense of guilt when good news is met with anything less than total joy.

Here are some things that might help:

• Give yourself permission to feel the complexity. Joy and fear can coexist. Letting yourself feel both doesn't mean you're not grateful. Complex situations come with complex feelings. Allow yourself to feel it all without the pressure to perform.
• Don't rush the exhale. End of treatment and remission are huge milestones, but they can also feel disorienting. The structure and support of active treatment disappear as you transition back to “normal.” You and your family all need time to find your footing as things settle.
• Talk about the fear if you need to. Worrying about recurrence is normal and common. Saying it out loud to a trusted person or counselor can help keep it from overwhelming you.

For Supporters Responding to Good News

Extend family, friends, and other members of this child’s cancer team: your instinct is to celebrate, and that instinct comes from love. But just as we’re careful of what to say and not to say with the bad news, we need to be mindful of how we respond to good news, too.

Say:

• "This is such wonderful news. I'm so happy for your family." Simple and warm, with no pressure attached.
• "I imagine this brings up a lot of feelings. I'm here if you ever want to talk." This gives them room not to be purely overjoyed if that's where they are.
• "How are you really feeling?" Sometimes the most generous thing you can offer is genuine curiosity without an expected answer.

Be careful with:

• "You must be so relieved! It's all over now!" End of treatment and remission are not the same as "over." For many families, vigilance continues for a lifetime.
• "I knew everything would be fine!" This can unintentionally minimize what the family actually went through, because it wasn't fine for a long time.
• "Now you can finally get back to normal!" Normal changed, even when the cancer is gone. Their normal will always look different from those who haven’t walked this road.

Your Support Still Matters

Good news doesn't mean a family stops needing community. In some ways, the end of active treatment can feel isolating. The appointments slow down, the support system that rallied during the crisis starts to step back, and the family has to figure out what life looks like now.

Keep showing up. Send the text. Drop off the meal. Ask how they're doing three months from now, not just this week.

The Cancer Kickers community knows there's no finish line when it comes to showing up for each other, including when things start to look up.