After enduring troubling signs, rigorous testing, and unimaginable worry, it’s finally been confirmed: your child has cancer. Your mind is overwhelmed by emotions, some reasonable, others illogical – worry, fear, sadness, anger, guilt, grief. So, what do you do now? Your child deserves you at your very best, but if you’re honest, you’re feeling anything but capable.

Here’s the good news: you aren’t alone. So many parents and guardians have walked this path – often imperfectly – and have come out the other side celebrating a cancer-free child.

Based on their journeys, we’ve developed this list of “first steps” to do when faced with your child’s cancer diagnosis.

6 Steps for Parents & Guardians When Their Child Receives a Cancer Diagnosis

Step #1 – Talk to the doctor. Take notes.

Processing everything is tough, particularly when you’re still in shock. The best thing you can do is talk to your child’s doctor or pediatric oncologist and take notes. If you yourself can’t, bring along a friend who can. You’ll want to write everything down so that the details are clear. Jot down questions and concerns, too. People will ask you questions (as much as we hope they wouldn’t), so having the facts straight eases frustration and gives you more of a sense of control over things.

Step #2 – Designate your informant.

Parents and guardians, don’t feel like you need to be the bearer of all news and updates surrounding your child’s cancer journey. Answering the same questions over and over isn’t what you should be focused on. Designate another family member or trusted family friend to oversee communicating updates to your support network. They can run a text group or Facebook page. That way, you’re only having to relay information to one person. Your focus can then be on your child and family!

Step #3 – Talk with your child.

Talking to kids about cancer is tough. Their age and maturity level determines a lot of how you’ll want to approach the topic, but ultimately, honesty is the most important. When you trust kids with the truth, they have a better sense of agency over their situation. You don’t want to scare them, of course, but you do want to be as clear as you can about treatments and procedures as well as what they can expect.

Be there for them. Let them know that this isn’t their fault (it’s no one’s fault!) and that you love them and are going to work with smart doctors who will do their best.

Step #4 – Utilize your support network.

Many parents and guardians can feel isolated throughout their child’s cancer journey. That shouldn’t be the case. Learn to be okay with asking for and accepting help. The people in your life may not understand what you’re going through, but they do want to love on your family and help in any way they can. Let your support network help – whether it’s being a sounding board for your fears and frustration or taking care of laundry for the week.

Step #5 – Seek out resources.

Your child’s cancer treatment can come with a lot of questions and worries, but also many opportunities. Research available resources to you and your child: financial help, camps, scholarships, support groups, and more. There are so many great organizations out there willing and able to alleviate some of the burden. Your child’s care team likely has a list of resources that you can refer to. Take advantage of them!

Step #6 – Outline your game plan.

Cancer turns your world upside down. It’s tough to know where to start, especially when there are multiple treatment options, pediatric hospitals, and decisions to make. Part of what will make you feel more in-control is developing your game plan. That means coordinating with your child’s care team to not only outline a treatment plan, but budgeting for changing financial needs and medical care, consulting with your insurance providers, and rearranging your schedule.

You want to balance the priority of cancer care with your other relationships and responsibilities as best as you can. When you have a plan, you can communicate it to your child with confidence – reassuring them that you’ll get through this thing together!