As we move towards the holiday season, we search for ways to spread a little holiday cheer to those around us. We want to share that sense of hope, gratitude, and encouragement with those who may be struggling. After all, the holidays aren’t so jolly for those going through difficult times.
And few things are more difficult than battling cancer.
Thankfully, there are many ways you, no matter where you are or who you know, can send love and encouragement to pediatric cancer patients.
Check out these resources:
-
Letter of Love by I See Me! – Send a personalized note to a child fighting cancer or other life-threatening illness.
-
Cards for Hospitalized Kids – Great for families who want to craft heartfelt, handmade cards to be given to kids in the hospital.
-
Online Cards for Kids at St. Jude – Choose from a variety of cards with artwork inspired by St. Jude patients, write a personal message, and send!
These are just some of the platforms helping childhood cancer patients receive love and encouragement from around the world. You don’t have to personally know a child with cancer to brighten their day.
Now…what do you say?
4 Things to Say to Kids Fighting Cancer
Highlight their bravery
First things first, acknowledge that you’re talking to the bravest, most resilient, coolest kids on the planet. These kids are going through things you and I can only imagine in our nightmares. Praise them for being so brave in the face of something so scary. They’re not giving up – and that is worth highlighting!
Let these kids know just how highly you think of them. Let them know that they’re inspiring not only you, but kids everywhere.
Cheer Them On
While you don’t want to say “keep fighting” or “don’t give up” – which implies that they are indeed giving up – you do want to cheer them on through their cancer journey. Let them know that you’re thinking of them, praying for them, or wishing for the very best for them.
Acknowledge the Pain
It’s okay to say that cancer sucks. It does! Let kids with cancer know that you’re so sorry for what they’re having to go through. Let them know you wish you could take it away from them. Acknowledge that what they’re going through is really hard – it helps validate some of the tough and frustrating emotions they may be wrestling with.
Reassure Them
When you try to reassure a child with cancer, do so by emphasizing a few key points:
-
They are loved!
-
They are valued!
-
They are strong!
-
They are never alone!
You can’t make promises about their outcomes, but you can give them the comfort of knowing that people love them and are cheering them on.
4 Things NOT to Say to Kids Fighting Cancer
Empty Promises
Though it might be tempting to say “get well soon,” “I hope you feel better,” “this will all be over someday,” or “it will all be okay,” be careful. Kids with cancer and other life-threatening diseases might not feel better. They might not get well. Avoid making any promises or declarations that things will work out okay. You don’t know that. These families are just taking it day by day.
Rationalizations
Avoid “everything happens for a reason.” There’s not always a reason. If anything, this can make it seem like the cosmos is just playing a cruel joke on these kids and their families. Saying this is often more comforting for you as you try to overcome the disturbing fact of an innocent child’s suffering. There’s no rationalization that will ever work or make sense. And most of all, it won’t comfort the child or their family. Don’t say it.
Religious Sentiments
While it’s generally okay to tell a child or their family that you are praying for them, try to avoid overly religious sentiments unless you personally know the child, their family, and their faith background. People of all belief systems go through cancer. Unwelcome religious sentiments can come across as proselytizing, alienating, or patronizing.
Unsolicited Advice
Lastly, avoid giving advice to kids with cancer or their parents. Instead, instill a sense of trust in the care that they’re receiving. This is not the place for you to speculate causes or pitch alternative cures.
At the end of the day, your goal for writing to kids with cancer should be to lift their spirits, cheer them on, and express your sincere condolences. Part of coming together to kick cancer is to fight the good fight together with love, encouragement, and kindness.