Supporting the siblings of a child with cancer is essential to help them navigate the emotional challenges that often arise during this difficult time. It’s easy to overlook healthy siblings and focus all attention on the kid with cancer. Still, parents must be sure to properly love and support the brothers and sisters of the patient. After all, they’re impacted, too!
Here are some ways parents can provide support:
8 Ways to Support Cancer Patient Siblings
#1 – Open Communication
Encourage open and honest communication with the siblings. Let them express their thoughts, feelings, and questions about cancer. Ensure they know they can come to you with any worries. Listen attentively to their concerns and fears. Validate their feelings and let them know that their emotions are natural. As parents, we must provide healthy, safe places for children to express themselves.
#2 – Maintain Normalcy
While the family’s routine may change due to medical appointments and hospital stays, try to maintain a sense of normalcy in the household. Keep up with daily rituals, school activities, and family traditions as much as possible. Things will change; there’s no doubt about it. Your time, finances, and mental and emotional energy will pour into your precious patient. Just be sure you’re keeping a semblance of stability for everyone’s sake!
#3 – Education
Age-appropriate education about cancer can help siblings better understand their brother or sister’s condition. Cancer is often seen as a taboo topic. A lack of understanding makes children anxious and fearful. Use simple language and provide information suitable for their comprehension level. This demystifies some of what’s happening and lets the siblings feel more in control.
#4 – Quality Time
Set aside one-on-one time with each sibling to engage in activities they enjoy. This helps them feel special and valued, even when much attention is focused on the sick child. It’s very easy to put off this quality time because the child with cancer “needs you more.” All children – sick and well alike – need their parents! Ensure that they don’t feel overshadowed by their sibling’s needs.
At the same time, be mindful of desires for privacy and personal space. The older the child, the more likely they will value alone time to process their emotions.
#5 – Support Groups & Counseling
Consider enrolling siblings in support groups or therapy sessions for children in similar situations. These can provide a safe space to express themselves and connect with others who understand. If siblings struggle to cope with their emotions, it may be helpful to seek the assistance of a child psychologist or counselor specializing in pediatric oncology.
#6 – Include Them
When appropriate, involve siblings in the care and support of their sick brother or sister. This can help them feel like active participants in the healing process. Have them retrieve comfort items, get glasses of water, and perform other tasks that are simple and age-appropriate. Sometimes participation as a caregiver helps ease feelings of resentment.
#7 – Celebrate Achievements
Remember to pay attention to your child’s siblings and accomplishments. Celebrate their milestones and efforts. It’s so easy for them to feel as though their lives take a backseat to their sibling with cancer. Make a point to cheer them on with praise and encouragement so they feel seen and loved.
#8 – Respite Care
We all need a break sometimes! Just as parents can benefit from a child-free date night, siblings benefit when they can be away and “normal” for a little while. Arrange for respite care or support from trusted friends or family members. They can take the kids to the park, out for ice cream, or indulge in some of their favorite activities. These don’t have to be day-long or overnight commitments – just a few hours free from worry.
Remember that every child is unique, and the level of support they need may vary. Being sensitive, patient, and attentive to the siblings’ needs can go a long way in helping them cope with the challenges of having a sibling with cancer. They’re already going to deal with a lot emotionally. The less they have to wrestle with feeling eclipsed or forgotten in the shuffle, the better they’ll be able to handle everything.
And parents – don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’re going to feel overwhelmed and inadequate. Just do your best to love your children and reach out when it feels like too much.