Though the hospital is a place for much-needed treatments and healing, there’s no doubt that it can be a scary place — particularly for children. Even if your child has been in the thick of their cancer treatments and has grown accustomed to their hospital stays, we as parents, part of the care team, and community can take steps to help our kids feel more comfortable and at home before and after hospital procedures.
The reality is this: your child is probably scared. Most of us would be when facing surgery and unknown outcomes. Helping your child (or patient) cope in healthy ways is one of the best things you can do for them. Whether it’s a one-night stay for something small or a prolonged admission, taking these thoughtful steps can help calm your child and make them feel seen and loved by their family and care team.
6 Ways to Comfort a Child Admitted to the Hospital
Bring Home to the Hospital
For younger children especially, a hospital environment can be disorienting. The strange smells and sounds of a hospital can put anyone on edge, kids included. Regardless of the duration of your child’s hospital stay, you can help ease them into the environment with creature comforts from home. A favorite stuffed animal or blanket, hand-held video games, books, a favorite poster from their wall, or a special night light can make a child feel more at-home and in-control. Though the hospital will never feel “like home,” you can infuse the room with things that are important to your child — making their hospital room more of a safe, familiar space.
Offer Little Luxuries
In the middle of a cancer diagnosis, little luxuries often go by the wayside. It’s not as though we don’t want to offer these things to our children — there just seem to be other, more important things on our minds. However, little luxuries can make your child feel better about themselves and what they’re going through. Something as small as painting a little girl’s finger and toenails before a procedure can serve as a distraction and an opportunity to feel “put together” and beautiful. A child’s self-esteem can suffer during their fight with cancer, namely because of the potential for physical changes and inability to be a “normal” kid.
Bring a princess dress or a superhero costume — maybe just the mask or tiara — to boost your child’s confidence. If they’re able to eat it, bring them a favorite meal or dessert. These small acts can make your child feel special and more confident.
Keep Them Connected
It’s easy to feel disconnected from friends and family while in the hospital — particularly in 2020 when visitation is limited. For your child, these social connections are an essential part of their support system and their mental and emotional well-being. Thankfully, technology allows us to connect with friends and family around the world!
The simplest thing you can do is encourage friends (particularly your child’s friends) to call them. Have a Zoom party. Allow your child to play a game online with their friends. Set up a monitored text group. The more you can maintain social bonds, the better your child can cope and feel a part of daily life beyond the hospital walls.
Talk, Even When They Can’t Talk Back
Sometimes medicines and medical devices can hinder a child’s ability to communicate. When sedated or on a ventilator, it’s been shown that people can still hear and even recall some of what is said to them, even in these states. This is why nurses often talk to patients even when they’re “under” or feeling groggy and disoriented from medicines and procedures. As a parent or member of the care team, talk to your child even if you don’t think they can hear or understand you.
It will make you feel like you’re doing something helpful, regardless of how or if your child can offer a response. Explain things to them, offer words of love and comfort. Hold their hand. They may not consciously remember what you’ve said or done, but the constant of your voice, touch, and presence is more meaningful than you will know.
Play Their Favorites
Similarly, whether your child can respond or not, you can comfort them by playing their favorite music in their room. Whether they’re coming out of surgery or waiting for a procedure, hearing their favorite Taylor Swift song could be just what they needed to lift their spirits. Music has a profound effect on mood. Make a playlist for your child or keep track of what they want to listen to. Ask them to pick a song or album. It helps them feel more in charge and in-control beyond the natural mood-boosting impact of listening to music.
Explain Things to Them
Many times, we don’t know how to explain to our children what’s happening when they have cancer or need a surgical procedure. The various tests and scans they have can be scary even if they’re not physically painful. The younger a child is, the more difficult these things seem to be for us. Sometimes, we mistakenly think that keeping them in the dark is better — thinking we won’t scare them that way.
When we consider ourselves, however, we know that we feel better when our doctors explain precisely what is going on and what needs to be done. Offer the same courtesy to your child, albeit on their level.
Being “in the loop” about their condition and treatment, even if certain details are spared, can help a child reclaim a sense of agency and control.
While these steps may seem small, they make a great impact in lending your child extra comfort and support when they need it most.