If you’re close to someone with cancer – especially a child – you know that the disease doesn’t just impact the patient. Cancer takes and takes and takes. If your family isn’t prepared for how a child’s cancer diagnosis will change their family…keep reading. 

Arming yourself with knowledge will help you better manage emotions, reduce strife, and keep your family together during this painful season.

How Pediatric Cancer Changes Families

Parents

Emotional Distress

Parents experience a wide range of emotions throughout their child’s cancer journey. Shock, grief, guilt, anxiety, helplessness, anger…the list goes on. No parent wants to see their child suffer. When emotions run high, it can also stress the rest of the family. Parents need emotional support and healthy outlets for coping like anyone else.

Career Consequences

Balancing the demands of caring for a child with cancer and maintaining a career can be challenging. Some parents may need to reduce working hours or take leaves of absence, which can impact their financial stability. Families may need to re-examine their budget to account for new expenses and lost income.

Exhaustion

Between a flurry of emotions, the back-and-forth between hospitals and doctor’s offices, and the new demands of caring for a child with cancer, parents are worn out. They’re totally spent physically and emotionally. Parents, listen: take care of yourselves. Your child is the priority, but you cannot care for them if you haven’t cared for yourself.

Relationships

Parents’ relationships with friends and family may grow strained. Most people want to show support but often don’t know how or feel awkward. They might not want to ignore the elephant in the room, but they also don’t understand what having a child with cancer feels like. This can drive a wedge in adult relationships and leave parents feeling isolated.

Siblings

Emotional Distress

Siblings of kids with cancer will also experience a variety of emotions. They may be anxious, fearful, sad, or confused. They’ll likely worry about losing their sibling. Just as we encourage kids with cancer to find healthy outlets for their feelings, their siblings benefit from doing so, too. Help your children express themselves through art, journaling, or counseling.

Attention and Support

Because the child with cancer needs specific care and attention, their siblings may feel neglected or overshadowed. This can breed lasting resentment. Parents must be sure they’re still attentive, engaged, and supportive of their children during this season. They need extra love and support, too.

Familial Roles

Cancer has a way of turning everything upside down. Siblings may need to take on new responsibilities or grow more independent during this time. That adjustment can be confusing! 

The Patient

Need for Attention and Care

Obviously, your child with cancer needs special care and attention. They likely won’t be as energetic or independent. While parents shouldn’t take away the things they can do and should still allow them to try (as long as their care team agrees), they must also be extra attentive.

Educational Support

Kids with cancer often miss school. Work closely with their teachers and tutors to ensure they stay on top of their studies. Parents may want to add in a bit of informal homeschooling. Ultimately, though, communicate and coordinate with their school.

Emotional Distress

As scary as it can be for the family, imagine how the patient feels! Parents, listen to your child. Help them find enjoyable outlets for their feelings. Art therapy, active play, journaling, and time with friends make all the difference in the world. They still need meaningful socialization. 

Ability to Participate

Cancer treatment and its side effects can bring on unwelcome fatigue and weakness. Because of this, kids may be unable to do the active things they’re used to. They might not be able to play sports or go on family bike rides. Parents, find low-stress, low-impact activities that everyone can be included in. Family game nights and movie nights are always a hit!

At the end of the day, cancer will change family dynamics. Depending on how your family copes with these changes, it can tear your family apart or bring you closer together. Parents – be mindful. Take care of your own well-being. Check-in with all of your kids. Design ways to be together. Connect with people who understand. And, most importantly, advocate for your child with cancer!